Cancer Lessons -- Share Yours Here

[Chuck Stromme]

My darlin' wife is enjoying a gratifying recovery from breast cancer. It is her second experience with a very threatening disease. Her first was in 1996, a different cancer. Back then she was given "less than sixty days to live." That was 13 years ago. It's a fact. Take whatever you need from it.

I have reflected on what I would pass along to others going through the cancer experience. She's out of town and I haven't collaborated with her about this so she may correct any or all of my meanderings. My fears and thoughts are those of a loving and scared husband. Others are invited to share their experience, strength and hope here as either a patient or a support person.

1. It is a very rough and scary experience and sometimes it hurts. BUT... you can survive it and come through on the other side smiling. Smiling. It just doesn't always feel like it. No kidding. You really can do it.

2. Do what you can to reduce your personal cancer risk. That includes

* Don't smoke

* Avoid over-exposure to the sun and tanning booths. My mom didn't.

* Be aware of your own body and pay attention to changes

* Ladies and men, do your self exams

3. Don't let your doc put you off with "It's probably nothing". The same for your own denial. It doesn't matter if your dad or mom never had cancer. They're not you and you simply don't know enough to have an informed opinion. If you suspect that something's wrong have it thoroughly checked out. Second opinions are good... get 'em.

4. Take the meds your docs prescribe. If you insist on supplementing with non-traditional medicine, do it alongside your prescribed treatment, not instead of it, and keep your doc informed about what you're doing.

5. Go all the way with your treatments, don't stop no matter how much you want to

6. Don't deny yourself familiar pleasures along the way. Enjoy them as best you can without interfering with your treatments.

7. Chemo really sucks. Yeah, your hair is likely to fall out. IT'S NO BIG DEAL! Puking? Yeah, it happens. Sorry, but it's no big deal either and the meds for it are a lot better than they used to be. If you can keep the juice/cookies/Popsicles they offer at the chemo clinic down, enjoy them. They taste good and they'll distract you for a moment. You'll want that.

8. You're going to be scared. Don't keep it in like I tried to. Talk about it and share it with those close to you. Try to remember that fear is an emotion and like all emotions, it will change. It doesn't have to own you. It's OK to cry. I did.

9. Participate in support groups. You need what they have, whether you are new and needy or a long-term survivor who proves that you can overcome.

10. Take walks during your recovery, as many as you can, more than one a day if you can. You need to see that the world is still there and the sun is still shining. You need the exercise, too.

11. Let others care for you in any way they can and want to. They love you and, like me, are often at a loss about how to show you. Tell them what you want and need and let them show you they care enough to do for you. You both need that. Don't be jealous of others who care and want to help. If you are a support person you might as well admit that you can use all the help you can get.

12. Pay attention to newly documented cancer risks and treatments. Avoid the risks when you can and investigate newly proven treatments with your doc.

13. Pray. There's no downside.

OK, enough for today. I hope you'll join in here and pass along your experiences so that others can benefit.

I love my darlin' wife's smile.

* * * * *

If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell.
Lance Armstrong

[Roger F Sharrer]

Well Chuckster, I accept your invitation and will share with you my own recent cancer experience. It was this past February 26th that the doctor told me that the colonoscopy had revealed that I had cancer in my lower colon. This all began as a result of an annual physical exam. My doctor told me that blood had been detected in my stool and she scheduled the colonoscopy. I wasn't worried because over the last 40 years I had occasionally experienced bleeding from a couple minor hemirroids. I was sure that was the source. Finding that it was cancer surprised me more than anything else. Even then I was convinced that we found it early as I had just had a colonoscopy two years prior.

During this period before surgery, Lori and I did have a couple of very emotional moments. Thinking of our daughters and grandchildren, of unfinished projects and goals, and places we still wanted to travel to together. However, I was amazed at how much the support of family and friends helped in getting us through this time.

Things moved quickly after the colonoscopy. First a CT scan which hits you with about 400 times more radiation than an xray. That's okay, whatever they need to do. Then blood tests, an ekg, and a pre-op exam. Then Lori and I showed up at the hospital at 0545 hrs on March 16th for my surgery. They operated at 0900 and I was in recovery at 1100. Of course I was pretty doped up but that was a good thing as they didn't have a bed in the hospital available until about 1930 hours. Lori and my daughters were able to visit me in the recovery room. I later learned that when Julie came in I was out, with my mouth wide open and looking pretty pale. She said that I looked really old! Surgery and 64 years will do that to a person.

That first night was pretty rough as I couldn't sleep much, couldn't clear my throat and my mouth and throat were pretty dry. Very uncomfortable. I found out in the morning that I had a tube down my nose into my stomach and a oxygen nose piece which explained the above problems. The doctor removed those tubes in the morning and I felt much better.

The incision went from just above my naval straight down for about 7 inches. I can tell you I was pretty sore and couldn't move. I was surprised that I started getting bed sores very quickly and they hurt. I forced myself to get up and walk a couple times each day and that actually seemed to help. About the fourth day, a Saturday, my doctor called me in the morning to tell me that the pathologists report showed that my cancer was a T-2,N0,M0 stage one cancer. That's about as good as it can get, they got it early and no further treatment would be necessary. I was in the hospital for five days which is about the same as ten regular days, and was very happy to finally get home. I went in to have the staples removed about three days later and was surprised at how easy that was. Had about fifteen staples. My next appointment is on April 16th for a follow up to the surgery.

My cancer was very low and they had to remove part of the rectum. My system is still adapting but there is a reduced holding area down there now and I find I have to make more trips to the bathroom. I'm told this will self correct in time. That area is in the pelvis and they don't have much room with which to work. I had a couple of concerns. First there was a chance that they would not be able to reconnect the colon due to how low it was. If that happened then I'd be wearing a bag for the rest of my life. The other concern was possible nerve damage that would cause incontenance and ED. I'm happy to say that none of those things happened. I'm VERY happy with my surgeon!